Sunday 5 May 2013

Before I go...

The day has come! It nearly started in disaster when I somehow couldn't find my key upon arrival at doorstep last night, and had to walk across town all the way to The Milk Place for a nice serving of hot dog and a sofa. Have since located my spare key and gotten in, so I will have to pack after all... Damn.

Before we dive into the madness full speed tomorrow, here's a little run-through of my views on the songs, in a nice little ranked order.

Starting with the worst... 

39: SPAIN
Utterly, utterly useless. The only thing keeping it from being as painfully bland as Estonia 2007 (:-[) or the likes is her horrendously annoying voice.

If forced to say something positive, I guess it *was* easily the best option in the Spanish final... Such an obvious bid for last place it's bound to beat something.

38: BULGARIA
I would never willingly put on their 2007 entry, but it worked well as a show and had a melody and a structure, so that it did well makes sense. This however, is just nasty, and not in a good way.

37: LATVIA
Why does this exist?

36: ROMANIA
It's actually not his awful fake opera voice that annoys me about this, but rather the non-existing melody and the cheap beat. And if you want to screech, at least put some stilts on it.

Like with Spain, I guess they didn't have much else to choose from, though... And it provides a nice little giggle!


The next are less offensive, just not for me at all.

35: ARMENIA
Far from as bad as it seemed in the Armenian final in the end, and stands out for kinda sounding like actual music, just a shame it's not a very good edition of actual music...

34: FRANCE
I'm kinda trying to like this, as it seems like a good idea, and she seems like the right person to execute the idea. But then the *song* just ends up boring me to no end.

33: ALBANIA
The instrumental bits are rather great, and I respect them for what they're doing, but Albania, sending men just isn't your thing unless they come in two short editions like our little friends to the right.

32: GREECE
Yeah... Annoying as hell, really. Particularly annoying is the fact it always gets my toes wrigglin'. And that it'll do very well.


We're moving into 'not even annoying' territory, which I guess is kinda the worst group...  

31: SERBIA
Alright alright, this actually *is* a bit annoying. Mostly the chorus, though I'm not quite sure what it is about it that annoys me... The verses, on the other hand, are rather good. It's a bit Croatia 1997 in that respect. Just less dressed for skiing.

30: SLOVENIA
I miss cheesy Slovenia :-(

29: AUSTRIA
Gets treated a bit unfairly, as I only associate it with being 'that song that starts after every other song' if I play some YT clip on eurovision.tv, but ah well. It's not as if I really care about it one way or the other anyway.

28: BELGIUM
The AMAZING REVAMP sounds pretty much exactly the same to me as the original - okay pop song by an artist that doesn't look like he has any desire to neither sing nor be in front of a camera.


Approaching the bearable ones! 

27: CYPRUS
It's nice.

26: RUSSIA
It's not as nice, but somehow better. Does that make any sense?

25: ICELAND
We're clearly in the 'inoffensive ballad' part of this ranking... Well, at least it's better than NĂșna (I'll spare you the YT link).

24: MALTA
Cute and competent, but I can't help tiring of it quite quickly. Like, halfway through the first chorus or so.

23: ESTONIA
See Cyprus.

22: FINLAND
I like its existence, like the idea, like her, like the song, like the dingdongs... Yet somehow don't really like it that much.

21: SWITZERLAND
I don't like its existence, don't like the idea, don't like them (except Gygax-falling-over-guy), don't like the performance... Yet somehow like the song.

20: MOLDOVA
Quite pointless, but somewhat endearing. And it manages to keep me interested throughout, which I guess is thanks to it having a structure that's a bit more interesting than many others. Also, hi Pasha!


Right, from now on, I actually actively *like* the entries 

19: MACEDONIA
Still prefer Imperija, but this isn't as useless as I initially thought. It's totally a song for *him*, though, with her thrown in to do some wailing at random places in the song, whereas the other one worked much better as a duet, I thought.

18: UNITED KINGDOM
Good old Bonnie... It still feels all weird she's taking part - and maybe especially how it kinda makes perfect sense. That said, it's no Bitter Blue, is it? Up to you to decide if that's good or bad :-p

17: MONTENEGRO
Kinda surprised I placed it this high, I guess the bunch of mediocre ballads helps it. And the fact it's totally doing its own thing, not giving a tiny little tosh about what's "suitable" for Eurovision or not - and it's actually not at all as unsuitable as I initially thought either.

16: GEORGIA
Calculated shite, of course, but I can't help getting sucked in at the key-change...

15: DENMARK
Not as good as polls and odds make it seem, but I do quite like it, and she does have a little sparkle in her eye that helps it when watching. Just doesn't wow me in any way.


Despite having 14 left, the rest really are top 10 material for me. 

14: ITALY
Seems a little boring on paper, but gets me into it when I listen to it, somehow. Should've been ModĂ  if something else from Sanremo was to be the entry, though!

13: SWEDEN
Was great watching such an unpredictable MF, and it ending up with one of the best songs winning all out of the blue! I keep forgetting it exists now, but gets me going if I bump into it - and without going all Alex, the falling pyro moment *is* quite awesome.

12: IRELAND
Easily one of the best Irish entries ever to me, but the weak chorus (or, wait, B-chorus!) still lets it down a little. Thankfully, the buildup to it is great! And I can't get my head around this Ryan guy - he just has no likeability factor or charisma, which may be this entry's downfall in the end. He's no Saade, that's for sure...

11: CROATIA
Absolutely lovely, and feels *so* Croatian. It's as if I'm sat at some Dalmatian restaurant with some dubious kvalitetno vino in the glass (mixed with waiter sweat - true story!), swaying to the background music.

10: SAN MARINO
Who would've thought... It's as if Slovenia bounced across the sea, ate San Marino and then burped up this little piece of magic cheese! The switch towards the end is a *little* abrupt, but for me, it kinda works too, as a bit of a jump in the build. Still, I'd prefer it if it managed to build more naturally all the way through, that would've made the schlagertastic ending even better!

9: ISRAEL
Weird-looking woman wearing Lynda Woodruff belting out her pain - what's not to like?!

8: LITHUANIA
Another weird one, but has a strong enough melody to end up this high. He needs to sort out *several* issues by May, though...

7: NETHERLANDS
Got me goosebumpy from a very early stage, which is always a good sign. Lovely melody and a subtle, or almost non-existing, build, that still manages to keep me interested all the way through. Pleasepleaseplease make this look simple atmospheric on stage...

6: BELARUS
What this year needed badly, and what Serbia wishes it was. Cheap song, proper-sounding production, crazy eyes, fab choreography (at least in the video)... Only two words needed, really. CHA and CHA [inward clap].

5: GERMANY
Good, solid dance song that's lifted by a great performance. Not necessarily visually or vocally outstanding, but she somehow manages to sell it *really* well, just by looking confident and like she's really enjoying what she's doing. Quite the opposite of what I was expecting from such an act, really! I was rather expecting something like E-rotic...

4: HUNGARY
Subtle and monotonous, yet haunting and catchy - that's quite a feat!

3: UKRAINE
Speaking of mess... I want to punch this song so bad for having such a GREAT chorus, only to smother it with a useless structure and some verses and builds that are neither here nor there. And when it finally has the chance to finish it off nicely with a final, powerful chorus, it ruins it with weird howls and gravities and HAHs and whatnot. BOO. Yet, the two actual choruses that aren't messed up are just too good to keep it away from my love!

2: NORWAY
Trying to not be all patriotic here, but it *is* great! Margaret being in MGP has been a bit of a dream for years, but have always feared it too, for two reasons - firstly, for her potentially not being able to sing well, and secondly, for her cold, electro-ish style to not appeal to enough Norwegian voters to even get her through to an MGP final. Boy, was I wrong! Granted, there were presumably a bit of backings or echo on the MGP backing tape, but still, she sounded fine.

My favourite moment of the song is definitely when the first chorus kicks in and she opens her arms - the orchestration and melody totally "opens" up the song there and then, in contrast to the dramatic and "harsh" verse.


And at last, my favourite of the 39...

1: AZERBAIJAN!!
Can't quite explain why, as it really is a rather ordinary thing... But find it to be very powerful and catchy, and that dramatic instrumental break after the first chorus is just ORGASMIC!

Also, hi Farid!


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