EXCLUSIVE: Evidence found for blatant favouritism for certain songs!

One would think that, as a host nation, the importance of welcoming each participant equally enthusiastic cannot be overstated. It is simply bad form to display favouritism towards a small number of your guests, whilst at the same time obtusely ignoring others. Sadly, that is EXACTLY what this reporter has found to be the case this year! And in the process, the Danes even try to make some money out of it! In this exclusive undercover report, we will provide proof that some people high up in the organisation have already decided who will get some extra "Attention" ahead of the tv-broadcasts later this month!

For our evidence, we don't even need to be in Denmark.

Our sources hinted to us that proof can be found ALL OVER Europe!

After doing some more research, mainly simply by googling, we thought it was time for some field work. Eventually we decided to tackle the challenge head-on: We would go and do some SHOPPING! Analysis* indicated that the Netherlands might be a good place to start. We focused our attention on Rotterdam.

In this bustling shopping area, the usual chains and franchises greet you with their loud and gaudy street signs. 

It is here that we stumble upon an unobtrusive shop.

The name seems to be more indicating to an Asian background than to anything Danish. Remember Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? Incidentally, that movie is from 2000. And what country WON Eurovision in that year? Indeed! And the title of the song? "Fly on the wings of love". Fly… as in FLYING TIGER! Just stating the facts. That is all.

Back to the storefront in Rotterdam. On the shop's website, the company does admit to be linked to Denmark. But the information divulging its origins is well hidden away. Just a first clue to how deep this deception goes!

It is inside the shop though, where we find the unacceptable levels of favouritism.

It all starts innocent enough, with this little trinket.

Why would a quirky pencil sharpener be a controversial item, you ask? Well, arguably, it could be said that most countries taking part this year are more or less clearly indicated on the globe. HOWEVER, the more savvy Eurovision fan surely recognises this as a very obvious nod towards the Montenegrin song: After all, once I bought it, it IS mine! My world. Moj Svijet exactly.

"The Pirates aren't even taking part this year!" I hear a cocky eurofan smirk under his breath. Immediately he exposes himself as a very unknowledgeable fan. Yes, the packaging clearly states this item to be a Pirate Beard, but also staring us, quite aggressively so, right in the face is A MOUSTACHE!  

After that, they don't even seem to pretend to be impartial, because all over the shop floor we find merchandise blatantly supporting this year's French entry. 

Does TwinTwin even get a percentage of these sales? We should ask them at the next press conference. If they deny any knowledge of this, we can regard that as more proof.

The French aren't the only ones being cheated out of some merchandising revenue. It seems that the Israeli song has also been used as inspiration for yet another line of products. "One heart not enough? Well, here are a few more!" Notice how they are all the SAME.

It's unbelievable how they got away with it. They're not even the same shape as the ubiquitous Eurovision heart! The company managing the rights to that logo is just another party in this scandal that will not be amused.

It's remarkable how creative the perpetrators have been. Here you see some head lights. Innocent though it may seem, one only needs to see the product in action to understand that this is nothing less than trying to appease the Russians, by selling this SHINING tool.

And don't even get us started about the Swiss. They have been generously showered by the Danes this year. All over the shop you see song-related stuff propping up. It would be requiring too much bandwidth to show all infringements concerning the favouritism towards this entry. 

They may as well had changed the name of the shop to Flying Hunter of Stars!

In some cases they didn't know what song to favour first, so they decided upon some cunning combos.

If you love both the Israeli AND the Latvian entry, this is the item to buy: A cake spatula in the form of a heart! You can buy two if you need them to be the same.

The list goes on. And on and on. 

If you are near one of these stores, you can go and look for yourself!

It's as clear as the light of day, that such levels of favouritism by the host nation cannot go without consequences. To ensure the absolute fairness of the competition we are calling upon EBU to instate a moratorium on all products that are based on this year's songs.

Luckily there are some things that can't be influenced by voluntary partialism.

We need the competition to be as unpartial as the draw.

Therefore it is of utmost importance that we, the free eurofan press, keep reporting on these excesses. 

Pasha will agree. Though next time, he may need to do some proof-reading before sending his poster to the printer.

Tuesday morning rehearsals

Well, good morning! We are set for a new day of madness, and have been moved to a bigger cinema for viewing today. My shoes are off and I'm ready to go!

You've all read Sam, Yair and Martin's reports from yesterdays rehearsals, of course, and I don't think I have a lot to add to that, apart from BWAHAHAHAHA to Ukraine. And for one that have been doubting Denmark big parts of the season, it did seem to work very nicely yesterday. Should definitely do well, and the falling pyro and glittery confetti works wonders for it, but it's by no means a new Loreen.

Biggest improvement from my original impression of the entries yesterday was Estonia for me, which is odd, since it was just as expected... OH, and Montenegro is starting!

MONTENEGRO

The two lads are wearing some sort of spacesuits that make them look like two Michelin men, whereas our diacriticed friend Nina Žižić is dressed like an electric bee (true story!). This is a big burp of fresh air, really, no matter what you think of it, and it looks pretty much as expected on stage, and fairly authentic. Stands out a mile, and positively too, but I'm still not convinced enough people will actually vote for it.

The background looks nice and flashy in yellow-ish green, so I'm sold, of course. I'm easy.

And the Michelin men now turned into proper astronauts for the second run-through! Emerging out of smoke at the start, looking surprisingly neat, actually. Just to underline how out of line with the rest these boys are!

BELGIUM
Roberto starts off with an absolutley terrified and distant look in his eyes in the first shot, but then again, that's nothing new. Other than that it's looking quite nice, really! There's two female dancers showing up out of nowhere from behind, complete with Hold-on-be-strong-No-one-style hand moves and all, making it all look pretty dishy. Can they take over, as he clearly doesn't want to be there...?

Would it be very Terry Wogan of me to say that it's during songs like this you notice how nice the set is...? It truly is for this one - a cold and blue feel. Starts off with the condom lamps on stage, but they eventually disappear, and we have bits from the lyrics being projected in the back. I think the best bit it is during the DUBSTEP, though, when it turns into more generic patterns bouncing along to the beat.

All in all, I'm assuming the Belgians are pleased with this - they have every reason to be, at least.

BELARUS
Giant discoball UFO containing Alyona alert!!

It opens, and there she is! The concept sounds ridiculous, but it doesn't actually look as kitchen sink-y as it might sound in the end, with the discoball working as a background prop all the way through. Colours are in silvery and orange, which looks very good, and the choreography is pretty much the same as their video - WE HAVE INWARD CHA CHA CLAP! #win

So based on the first run-through, the performance looks good (or the idea of it) and she sings well, but other than that, it gave a rather empty and undone feel, and they're lucky there's still lots of time... Most of all, they look a bit confused and unfocused, and Alyona downright terrified at times. But then again, who cares when both her dancers are dishy.

Second run-through, and we have smiles! And the whole thing generally looking quite a bit better already. I'm wriggling my toes as we speak, unsurprisingly.

Smoke and pyro added to the beginning in last run-through, both to a pretty good effect, I thought, as was the fire throughout. CHA CHA HEY

MOLDOVA
It seems I missed the first nibble of Pasha and Lady Tottington due to needing a wee... Ooops. All set for the next try!

And here we go... And she's back on Romanian, it seems, unlike the mix on the first run-through. Pasha is joined on his piano stool by three dancer boys in the first shot, doing some weird wave. Odd, but sweet too, somehow. They are still doing their great Yaz bitti-moves behind her and... OH, she's going up-up-up-up! Her massive dress is clearly hiding a Sarah Dawn Finer styled lift, and raising for the big finish, which she sings rather flawlessly. This should be sailing through if this is anything to go by, my neckhair went up! Which reminds me, I should book that haircut...

Also, WHERE IS HER HAIR