Fishy Predictions for the First Semi-Final

It's been a long two years, but finally a Eurovision Day has come again! 🥂 For the first time in over 15 years I won't be spending it on location or in Syden, but rather in a rainy (shocker) Bergen, but I'm not planning on letting that dampen the mood!

I've been twisting my slightly May 17th affected head to see if I could not only figure out which ten countries will qualify tonight, but also which order they'll actually turn out to have placed in, once we get ALL TEH INFO some time after Måneskin's Destiny's Fyr & Flamme's thank you speech very very early Sunday morning. So enjoy my mistakes, but most of all enjoy the show, because Eurovision is back!

1 Malta | It was my main contender for the win before the rehearsals started, but seems to have faded a little compared to the likes of Italy and France, and due to boots and wigs and colour debates. (My take: If in doubt, always go for the brightest colour!) I still think it has a chance on Saturday though - and certainly tonight.

2 Ukraine | That bit where it slows down and builds and builds and builds to PLING * POW * RUN gets all my geese out bumping every single time!

 

3 Cyprus | Solid feels like the word best describing this, I'm expecting it do to very decently with both juries and televoters, without anyone getting overly excited.

4 Russia | My favourite in this semifinal, but probably a bit too odd to go higher.

5 Lithuania | Had its moment to shine when it came out in January, but gosh, it feels like years ago... Still very obviously qualifying, still very obviously getting the 12 from Norwegian televoters tonight.

6 Israel | This keeps getting stuck in my head, which should be good. But seeing as there's no natural flow between all those individual bits of song, it just ends up being one little bit in an eternal loop I can't get out of, and I end up considering a head amputation to get rid of it. I've had it down as my tip for 'forgotten and ignored, accidental last place' in the semi for much of the season, but Eden and her boys are selling it well, so suddenly it feels like a qualifier, and somehow even a safer one than the following bunch.

7 Norway | I can never quite decide whether I think Tix is annoying, nice, manipulative, a hero, or just a combination of all, but at the end of the day I really do like the song.

8 Belgium | It's mix of boring, pretentious, dark, nostril and grumpy. It's Belgian speciality, you will enjoy.

9 Azerbaijan | If it hadn't been for the last 30 seconds of pyro extravaganza I'd say this was as dead as the Tix+Efendi relationship will be next week.

10 Romania | I originally had Sweden instead of this, but seeing as almost everyone else seem to have the same ten as me, I figured it was time for some risk-taking. And I can somehow see this working on some level for some people, despite the mainly quite awful singing.

11 Sweden | The exact opposite of Norway and Tix - I'm sure I like Tusse, but the song... Surely juries can't be quite as forgiving about Swedish averageness as they have been the last few years? And thinking back about it, I actually think both 2019 and 2018 are very good songs, so it shouldn't really be comparable at all. Could they possibly lose out...?

12 Slovenia | Probably getting 15 televote points in total, all from Croatia and North Macedonia, but I can see some juries appreciating the loudness here.

13 Ireland | I've been hoping and thinking this should make it all season, but no, it just isn't working, is it... What could've been a joyous, confident anthem of finding one's way in life just ends up being poor Lesley getting lost in a paper forest.

14 Croatia | I don't feel hate, but why would anyone vote for this when there are better songs, better singers, better dancers, better stagings, better backdrops... Even the other Tick Tock is better - a far worse song, but at least it had #hamsterbutt.

15 Australia | Very interesting entry, and I really appreciate it being there and Montaigne seems great when she's not dressing up as a clown. Just such a shame it's not, like, you know, good.

16 North Macedonia | I don't think they could've done much better with this than what they're doing on stage, but it's still the same song, so... I miss You :-(

ESC week | Monday | First Semi-Final | First Dress Rehearsal

It really is all about to happen now! In the next few days we will be blogging about all the dress rehearsals, starting today with the first dress rehearsal of the first semi-final.

It's again a rolling post, so keep your finger glued to the F5 button, or whatever you use to refresh on a Mac.

Thirty seconds past three ... Te Deum! We start with some Dutch scenery, we see sheep, Rotterdam Central Station, a windmill and more and after 1 minute 30 we're in the arena. Some quick lookback to 2019 and then Duncan's on stage dressed in red in an augmented reality setting, singing a new song (i.e. not 'Arcade') It's a pretty short performance .... the stage is revealed in a spectacular way before all four hosts come up on stage.

Hosts are full of energy, talking quite fast, Jan's English has definitely improved it seems. Chantal also speaks a bit of French. Hell, they're quick. 

After 7.5 minutes we start with the first postcard. 

Lithuania - Lithuania is 'virtually' on the Rotterdam central station square for the postcard. Before the song starts the stage lights take the colours of the Lithuanian flag. Not much to mention about the Lithuanian performance, it's not much different from what we've seen from them. There are some split-screen moments between Vaidotas and the backing dancers. The hall is empty - yet we're hearing 'fake' applause. But it sounded already a bit less 'fake' than in ESC 2015.

Slovenia - Postcard in the dunes. Stage is mostly golden with a globe projected in the background. During the bridge the transparent LED screen comes down and shows what I think is Slovenian mountain scenery. Decent performance but not as impactful as I would have thought. The ending was very abrupt. She just stopped in the middle of a sentence 'Hey Child ...' ... not sure if that was a failure or intended, but she didn't look really surprised ....

Russia - Bad Dutchie, I have no clue where this postcard was recorded. Egg-shaped houses? [I later learned that these are the 'bolwoningen'/'sphere houses'  from Den Bosch aka 's-Hertogenbosch]. The bloggers before me have already described this performance pretty well. I have not much to add to it I'm afraid. Energetic and fun as usual. 

Sweden -  Postcard is filmed on Museum Square in Amsterdam. Some pretty awesome light effects for Tusse. There's also people on the LED screen at one point and it truly looks like they're actually on stage. Last minute looks quite impressive, light-wise. Vocally this is all very okay too. Not as hopeless as some may have thought. But of course the song is still what it is.

Australia - The football themed postcard this time is not for Spain but for Australia. Montaigne could not be in Ahoy, but she could 'be' in the Rotterdam stadium. No special announcement or so, we just get a postcard and the live-on-tape recording gets shown directly. Of course we do miss the stage lights going all Australian and there's no 'dumdumdum' moment, but the transition is seamless. Montaigne and dancers are doing a (sort of) yazbitti! \o/. Lots of visual effects here, where we see copies of Montaigne  as if she's doing a yazbitti with herself.  Montaigne sounds much better than in some clips we've heard so far. And it *is* very colourful. At the end we see the camera zooming out from the LED wall, bringing us back to Ahoy so the audience can do some cheering.

North Macedonia - Postcard is in a forest, where Vasil is climbing the wall of the tiny house. Much gold on stage again. During the part where Vasil is not singing he shows the disco ball on his costume, which looks very nice. Vocally fine even if he seems to be not giving it all yet. All in all, I think this wins the battle with Slovenia, but probably that's still not enough to make it.

First commercial break. Nikkie is now on stage to show 'the best off online reactions'. She calls it the 'online update'. There's also clips from the Looklabs. We see fans dancing. Surprise appearance by Conchita Wurst. Edsilia then interviews a fake The Roop. She doesn't use the stick herself. Nikkie also connects to Montaigne.

Ireland - We see the 'Skinny Bridge' in Amsterdam over the river Amstel in the postcard. Vocals are not very good I'm afraid. The 'book' part goes a bit quicker and smoother than we've seen in the rehearsal clip but is still not very impressive. So she's walking in all directions amonst all sort of cardboard objects like waves and trees and sometimes interacts with them, but it all looks pretty forced. It look fine - but not spectacular - and also a bit distracting at times and most of all unnecessary. She looks exhausted by the end of the performance. Sorry to say but this feels pretty hopeless :-(

For some reason we now get another break with Nikkie and Edsilia. We also see the billboards announcing what's to come next Saturday as interval act, much like we saw them in Europ Shine A Light last year. Of course this break is meant to get all the stuff Ireland brought on stage back off stage.

Cyprus - First notes were horribly off tune. Elena starts lying on the floor. Vocals get somewhat better further into the song. Visually this is very well done with the mirrors and fire effects during the last minute. It looks like more fun than the lyrics suggest, which I think is a good choice. Safe for qualifying, but not winning material.

Norway - I think that's the Muiderslot in the postcard? Never change a winning recipe, performance is again much alike the MGP one (but with less creatures around TIX). Using the stage doors with light coming from behind makes for nice effects. In the last minute the stage turns into gold. Looking good for Norway to qualify I'd say at this point.

Croatia - Postcard in a random polder. Some visual tricks make Albina appear on stage out of nothing. She's standing in front of the transparent LED screen and the effects look awesome. Dancers join her during the chorus. At one point we see five Albina's and no dancers though. The 'oh noooooos' sound a lot better than we've heard in earlier clips. I think visually this is pretty cool. The fake? applause seems to be much louder here than it has been for others for some reason.

Belgium - First minute of this performance is one long shot from one camera turning around Geike and the musicians. It must have been intentional but with the musicians so close to Geike it looks a bit messy to me. But that may be a personal thing. It's a decent staging ans well sung, but I may have expected more 'magic'.

Israel - Postcard shows Utrecht Central Station. Eden is amazing! This is a fun performance with Eden and dancers moving to the sattelite stage halfway, and then back to the main stage where she does the high notes, and they sounded near perfect to me. This has such a nice energetic vibe. Probably the best performance so far!

A break with Chantal now. And Måns. We can actually see him, so probably not live, but you won't notice. It's of course all to get people warm for the Saturday interval. Hmm, if it's not live the timing is perfect. After this interview Edsilia and Jan announce Romania's performance.

Romania - Roxen's vocals are much better than we've heard in some clips, but she seems to have a bit of trouble with the timing (think Zaleilah but less dramatic). All in all, it's still not very convincing. They should be a little worried now.

Azerbaijan - Postcard from Giethoorn (the Dutch more rural answer to Venice - at least I think it's there). Song and staging is Eurovision by numbers obviously. Lots of gold, pink and turquoise again. And another yazbitti. What did I say? Eurovision by numbers. Well enough performed. Is there still a place for this in ESC 2021 though? I'm inclined to say there is, despite the song being rather weak. 

Another billboard moment, with Jan and Chantal quickly announcing Ukraine.

Ukraine - Had some serious internet issues here, so missed part of it. Well, it's definitely standing out. Graphics look impressive too. I have a blind spot for this entry, never really got it, and as such this performance wasn't winning me over. But I acknowledge that it is probably making the final anyway.

Bit of a hiccup before Malta was going to start, with Chantal quickly standing by to interrupt.

Malta - Destiny has gone for the silver dress and high silver boots and a totally different haircut/wig, which I suppose fits with the 1920's style. Not sure if she's giving it all yet, but vocally she was already more than fine. But I feel this is not a winning performance, neither is the song. May actually be totally overshadowed by Israel earlier on. 

Some pyros before we start the vote. As usual we see the recap with the artists shown at the end of their snippet. For Montaigne we have a live connection. It's apparent that the sound quality of the Australian snippet is much worse (less rich) than the others.

After the recap there's an interval by Davina Michelle about 'The Power of Water', which is partly pre-recorded and there's dancing on stage with lots of bare-chested men.

Quick prediction: Lithuania, Russia, Sweden, Cyprus, Norway, Israel, Azerbaijan Ukraine, Malta. Then there's one left and it's between Croatia and Belgium, I'd say Belgium now, but not extremely convincedly. If there's going to be a huge surprise it may actually be North Macedonia, but I wouldn't count on it. 

All four hosts are back on stage to explain again how you can vote. And we get another recap. With again shots from the green room. At this moment none of the artists are really there, so it's just volunteers and they are having a good time it seems :-)

After the second recap there's about 40 seconds left to vote, so we quickly get to a countdown with Jan and Chantal. After that there's another break with Edsilia and Nikkie. They're standing next to each other in one shot and that looks a bit ... odd (because of the height difference). There's a flashback to ESC history with Johnny Logan, Katrina, Anne-Marie David, Lenny Kuhr, Marie Myriam and Eimear Quinn. They all tell about their experiences. And they're all sooo positive.

We then get a pre-recorded 'Eurovision Tutorial' with Nikkie. Which is very tonge-in-cheek and fun :-)  It has Manel,  John Lundvik with a sad face, Justine Pelmelay and more surprises. The theme is 'How not to win Eurovision'. Obviously we're experts on that subject.

Then we look back for a minute or two at 'Arcade' with Edsilia and Duncan Laurence.

After that there's an awkard break. But apparently this is the point where we'd get to the interviews and presentations of Germany, Italy and the Netherlands. Instead we now get to see the postcards for these three countries. 

Oh they're actually performing now!

Italy - Just looks so cool on stage. There's some parts though where Damiano is drowned into the light, not sure if that's intentional. So much pyros at the end. Yes, this is definitely a performance that could do it!

Postcard at Scheveningen beach for Germany, appropriately considering its popularity with German tourists. After the German postcard we suddenly get another intervention with Chantal explaining the theme 'Open up' and a pre-recorded video about the theme with Duncan as narrator. Not sure if and when they will actually show this in the real show.

Germany - Very colourful performance with a prominent role for miss Finger. Jendrik improvises vocally. At the points we hear a male voice 'you did not just say that' the camera zooms on the finger as if she is saying that. All in all, I feel it is missing the clever fun from the video and falls a bit flat on the stage. In the talking part he adresses in German ladies, gentlemen and everyone who's not either. And he ends in Dutch with 'tot snel!' ('see you soon').

Netherlands - Wonderful visual opening with the LED wall 'breaking open'. Jeangu is doing an amazing job vocally. During the brigde all move to the sattelite stage, before the stage turns all colourful. Obviously a lot of applause. That was a very nice performance, and very different from a lot of other things in this ESC. Not saying it is a top 10'er but it doesn't look like certain bottom 5 either.

Okay ... they're now improvising a bit because it's about time to rehearse the qualifier revelation. But first we get a look-ahead to Thursday with the usual billboards. It's mainly about the extra acts though.

They then introduce Martin Österdahl. And it seems like we have a 'valid result'! And he tells Jan and Chantal that they're 'good to go'.

We get to see three-letter country codes with square flags in the 'waiting list' below the screen insert of Jan and Chantal. When they are announced we see the full names to the right of them, as usual. [addition: as far as I recall there were no animations with enveloppes or anything of the sort appearing on screen, so it's just one of the hosts shouting a country name, and only then the name appears in the 'qualified' list]

First fake finalist is Romania, then Israel. They do this pretty quickly again. Cyprus, Lithuania and Norway are next. Also Azerbaijan makes it, it looks pretty realistic so far actually :-) Australia also qualifies and we see a happy volunteer on a couch probably not in Australia. They take a little more time now. Sweden is fake qualifier number eight. And number nine is Malta. And finally it's North Macedonia! We don't get to hear snippets of the songs when they qualify but we get a recap in the order as announced right after the last qualifier is announced.

After that the credits start running and we get views from the hall, also from the green room, which may be interesting because we'll probably see both happy and sad faces there, unlike usually when we only got to see the happy ones.

That was it for the first dress rehearsal. Tonight we continue with the jury final, for which Yair will provide commentary in this blog!

Day 5 | Second Rehearsals | First Semi-Final | 🇧🇪 🇮🇱 🇷🇴 🇦🇿 🇺🇦

This will be a rolling blog, each country in running order, so please refresh to update.

🇺🇦 | Ukraine

While Kateryna is getting tested we're getting a stand-in, all limbs crossed it's a false alarm and she's back with the band for next week!

I assume this is full playback, otherwise the stand-in singer is really good and should join the band immediately! Sadly she's not wearing the original, green wig-jacket, nor does she have Kateryna's fabulous blink-less presence, and yet I was mesmerised and utterly sold! The backdrop is truly glorious here, with colours and shapes shifting in sync with the different moods of the song, and yet somehow sticking to a theme, even if I can't pinpoint it (can 'industrial folk' be a visual theme...?), while the band do their thing in and around their little white enchanted forest.

The song is far out there, but if there's one country in Eurovision that can manage to sell something this weird to all of Europe, it sure is Ukraine. I wouldn't really say it's a winner, it may still be slightly too crazy for that, but who knows!

Applaus! 👏

🇦🇿 | Azerbaijan

ARGH THERE'S A SNAKE

Whenever the cobra isn't visible in the big golden cirle behind her, I really like the backdrop, but then it shows up again and URGH.

Other than that, this looks like a high school rendition of some Eurovision song from 10 years ago or so. Seeing as the song is emptier than my travel plan these days, I would've expected them to fill it up with great dance moves or props or stage presence, but nope. Efendi and her girls are grinding about a bit for the sake of it, but it all looks a bit half-arsed. The BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM-beat towards the end doesn't deliver either - the cirle on the backdrop goes into fireball mode before ending up like an eye (?), but it all feels quite underwhelming.

🇷🇴 | Romania

Reports from the first rehearsal of this weren't great, so I was quite interested to see for myself. I grew to really like Roxen's entry last year, and this one has grown a lot on me as the season progressed too, and I think it's much thanks to her voice, which has this certain raw, sore, intimacy to it. Sadly, it sounded a bit too raw and sore during the first run-through today... Particularly one note towards the climax, when there's a nice wide shot of the stage with the see-through screen bathed in pink on the right, ojojoj...

The singing isn't necessarily a big problem throughout though, as it's quite a heartfelt and "raw" song too, so I can live with some fuckups. But the whole act feels very busy and random for no good reason at all, with Roxen being lifted and twirled and carried and at one point literally dragged along the floor (which for the first run-through created an audible clonk-clonk-clonk-clonk, but that was sadly gone for the next!). It's probably meant to represent inner struggles or something, and with some added tweaks and less baggy clothes, maybe it'd all come together as a touching interpretive dance.

Now it doesn't.

What I assumed would be Azerbaijan's first go turned out to be Roxen's third, and she's sounding better each time, slowly but steadily. Maybe if they postpone the contest to July...? Not sure if I'm just getting used to her bad notes, or are they sounding bad in a better way - the big ones at the end (that's what she said?) now kinda sounded both awful and great at the same time. Hmmmm.

🇮🇱 | Israel

Eden's done her hair to pretty much look like Senhit's, uh, thing from the other day, and she's in a white outfit adorned with what looks like more of her hair, and her boys in t-shirts to match. It all looks pretty cool and fresh, it feels a bit "younger" than most of the other entries somehow.

They're dancing about, making full use of the different bits of stage, and she's charismatic and sings it well - but she skips/cheats on some of the record-breaking screeching towards the end. Apart from that I'd say the Israelis have every reason to be pleased with this rehearsal and what they're making of the song. It's just a shame the song is still made up of about fourteen different bits that don't really go together or transition in any sensible way.

Second run through and no cheating on the screeches! Actually quite liked them now, as they were accompanied with some fun facial expressions - a nice mix of "oo, look what I can do!" and "wth, where did that come from?!". I only now noticed they rip her dress off to reveal a new one towards the end, but I really wish they didn't. It basically just looks like they used some braids of her hair and twirl about on her body in some places, and it's not very nice at all. Plus it makes me think of Atlantis 2000, so probably just as well I didn't get Benny for lunch as he'd probs come back up.

🇧🇪 | Belgium

I'm no fan of this as I find the song quite dull and the artists quite pretentious, so this rehearsal review should probably be fed through some sort of positivity filter, but since mine is at the drycleaners, you'll just have to add your own.

Positives first though: She sings excellently, and it all feels very 'proper' and professional, which already makes it stand out a bit. The set up is quite standard, with her in the middle and the musicians on separate little (look away, Yair) velvet stages around her. Everyone dressed in black and the stage is in black too, apart from some huge nostrils on the backdrop. Possibly looks a little dull, but it fits well with the song.

But what's with Geike's constant sideways face?? It feels like she always thinks the camera is a bit to the side of where it is, so ends up having to turn towards it in a weird way. Or does she have a good side and a bad side, and is terrified of showing the bad one (which presumably is 'the front', judging by the angles?). And while I get that the song is serious, so a big smile would be a bit freaky, she comes across more grumpy or fake-moody than actually properly into the song, and sometimes o-v-e-r-p-r-o-n-o-u-n-c-e-s some words. But maybe its deliberate to draw attention from the nostrils in the back to her mouth instead.

To summarise: It's black. It's probably qualifying. Someone will probably be happy about that.

🥪 Lunch break, I tried to see if Benny Cristo was available on Foodora, but sadly not, so had to settle for some pigeon bread à la Jordy 🥪

Second rehearsal: Azerbaijan to Czech Republic

Czech Republic

Miki has stopped the music twice because his mic stand is too wobbly. It's pretty obvious he's been to a trauma (this was no publicity stunt) and he's careful not to angle his back more than 3° or so, but there's some routine there. He leaves the stand and walks about a bit, even doing the floss dance with the backpack. Still some potential to look good when he's allowing himself to move.

Belgium

Changes in the first shot (we see her arm in the beam of light, which later reveals her striking eyes). A good change, I think, as it draws my attention. It gets a bit dull after that and Sennek really likes showing her back to the camera. To be fair - I would too if I had hair like that.

Iceland

Thankfully, Ari has survived the car crash and he's alright. Sadly, his jacket is intact as well.

Some mic issues (crew gave them Belgium's microphones), but still the same good vocals and smiles from Ari, backing choir slowly joining him to form a line of unity, togetherness and world peace.

Albania

Eugent is once again giving it all, I was inside the arena for the first runthrough and I think my glasses cracked. This is still sounding great, although I find him clapping along to himself a bit silly (or a tribute to Marion Rung?)

We now hear the postcard music during the rollovers, it's a mix of Portuguese mandolin and the violin intro Nekonečná Pieseň.

Azerbaijan

A more polished version of what we've seen. Sparkle on-screen effects work really well here. Chorus sounding great, but she's a bit weak during the verses.

Albania is next because Iceland crashed their car.

Morning!

Today it's just me (Elin went to see what Portugal looks like during day time), since you already know most of the details, from now we'll mostly focus on what's new.

Congratulations, we are aboard! - Azerbaijan to Belgium

Lunch

Food is next in line. And inside info from Iceland tells us that Ari's suit is here to stay. I approve!

Our lovely lunch view.

Belgium

Belgium is currently setting up, right now all we see are eyes, well lit eyes! Which after the first run through seems to be the planned beginning of the performance, logically enough. I thought that was an interesting beginning, it stands out. Otherwise, the blue-ness of the stage continues, hints of blue on a mainly black setting this time. She is wearing a black sleeveless dotty dress with stripes and see through bits mainly on the top part, over black trousers. Nice stage presence from Sennek and she sings the song very well, Go Belgium! Our Belgian room mates were not happy with the performance though, I will convince them later that it was great.

Albania

The red and yellow theme of the stage continues, only a bit darker in the beginning. They're keeping it clean, so to speak, the feeling is "back to basics", letting the song and the band be the main attraction, which I like. The most striking thing is a back (of a leather jacket) that's missing! Or perhaps not missing completely, but it's a very open back solution of a jacket!

Iceland

Next in line for rehearsal was Iceland. We are sitting near our Icelandic friends, they don't like Ari's costume. A white suit with red stripes on the shoulders and arms combined with a red shirt is not their cup of tea. There is a nice re-creation of the outfit in Yair's post!

The stage is lit up in yellow, glitter and red at the end of the song, giving a warm impression after an icy blue start. The camera work is focused on going around Ari in half circles and the vocals sound really good to me!

Azerbaijan

Azerbaijan started the rehearsal today. I always like going to the arena to start with, to get a sense of the atmosphere there, but it's not open for us yet. From the press centre screen my first impression was a calm one. There were not a lot of fast clips or unnecessary things happening on stage.

A first comment from a fellow blogger (not sure who to be honest) was "Her knickers are FANTASTIC!". I agree, very nice high waisted white undies! She likes to flash them a lot in the beginning of the song. She doesn't need to though, we can see them anyway.

First rehearsal: Azerbaijan to Belgium

Belgium

My pre-opinion: I like Sennek, and happy for her that her song is getting a lot of love from the fans. I just don't *get* it though. I find the song as engaging as Blackbird, and think she has to do something stand-outy (+sing it flawlessly) to be heard again on Saturday. Good luck to her.

First run:
Starts very dark with a thin light across her face so we can only see her eyes. A bit like Trijntje. When the song kicks in she pulls the microphone from the stands and walks about a bit. This will probably look better with the audience when she gets close to them. Singing is ok, I think there's an invisible backing singer or two but I'm not sure yet. (three backing singers, a Belgian informant whispers in my ear)

Second run:
The light thing is wobbly at the start, hard to tell if it's intended or RTP's light technician has unstable hands. (just then she sings "sometimes it feels like it's meant to be broken", so leaning toward intended). Another fine rehearsal, fans of this song should be satisfied (although I'm still not engaged myself)

Third run:
About the same, with the light a bit less wobbly and Sennek a bit more confident. The stage is black with light beams, and it's refreshing to not have a red or blue stage, but I have to say I'm not a huge fan of this stage. It was a nice idea to get rid of the LEDs, as long as there's some 'character' to replace them with, but there doesn't seem to be any. Rant over.

Fourth run:
The camera is doing its best to find her face, but Sennek is doing her best to avoid it. There's one moment of happiness that it finds her, but she quickly turns away and shows her hair. It's a very long hair that covers most of her back. Echoes echoes of her:

Albania

My pre-opinion: I'm a big fan of this, but knowing full well it won't be easy to make the final in this competition. They'll have to get a lot of things right, and I don't trust RTSH who are known to be average at best at staging (Suus did well because it couldn't not, really). Hopefully they've rethought the awkward dancing and will use a couple of mime musicians, and a good choir that can carry the oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-OH-oh part.

First run:
Very dark stage, first shot on the hairy guitarist. Eugent in the dark. Lights up in the early keychange to reveal a drummer, two clapping female backing singers, another guitar player and Eugent's face. He's giving it all and sounds great. One of the guitarists seems to get bored and starts walking about behind him at some stage, but nothing else happens really (probably for the best - leave the focus on the singing)

Second run:
Someone needs to tell Eugent that this isn't the live show and performing the hell out of it now won't win you votes. A good applause in the press centre though.

In the mean time, there's a storm outside which blew over the plants by the toilet cabin. Where's SuRie when you need her?

Third run:
About the same, so I'll comment on the outfits. Mostly black/leathery for the entire team, with plenty of silvery dazzles, mostly around Eugent's lapels, and a white undershirt that sticks out behind his bum, looking like a tail (think Iceland 1986). Leather strips on his right arm. There's some kind of image on the back of his jacket, but we only see it for a split second. *peaks over Elin's blog* oh, it's just holes.

Iceland

My pre-opinion: Ari is as cute as a puppy, a great performer and is going to enjoy these rehearsals, knowing that the odds are against him. As for the song's chances, well, I never say never, but they're going to have to pull off an unprecedented spectacle to have a chance.

First run:
Starts very similar to the NF, with the audience behind him. He wears a white suit with red lines on his shoulders that look like some kind of metro map - my guess he won't wear that for the show. Choir of five standing in the dark behind him, smoke on the floor.

Second run:
Not much to say about this, it's all as expected really. Stage starts in blue and during the high note bit changes to red/yellow, at least that's something.

This is (roughly) what he's wearing:

Third run:
OMG! Pyro! AMAZING! Þórunn Erna turns into a holographic fire puffin!
Or not really. Nothing to say about this one, it's as expected.


Azerbaijan

My pre-opinion: It's a decent Pop song and Aisel was surely trained to make the best of it, but will it be remembered by the time (the similar-ish) Cyprus has performed? They'll need a standout element, although going by Azerbaijan's historic semifinal televoting patterns, they have little to worry about anyway.

First run:
Blue stage, hurrah! Aisel in flappy white dress, four (visible) backing singers also in white, all on some triangular plinths with neon edges. Sounds fine, but it may be the studio version that we hear.

Second run:
Aisel starts lying down in a darkish stage, then sits up. Wind machine and transparent top leave very little for imagination. Stage manages to look quite sparkly for not having LEDs, There's also sparkle effects added on screen. Overall a professional, though not very interesting routine.

Third run:
Aisel does everything to point our attention to her mid-section (so much that the press area started calling it Crotch my Heart), it all looks a bit over-rehearsed and mechanic, but they have plenty of time to polish it and make it look natural I'm sure.

Greet

Good morning from a rather crowded press centre with very few seats available for community media with actual view of the screens. It's going to be a carnage, but we're being civilised so far.

At least the goodie bag is nice.

[LIVE] Semi 1 : Dress Rehearsal 1 - live reporting

CLOSING THE SHOW
The three presenters are on stage as are the qualified artists. A few general questions are asked in usual Eurovision style and then the show is closed. And that is also where this blog entry ends.


RECAP OF FINALISTS
The recap is in order of announcement.


FINALISTS
- Armenia
- Czech Republic
- Greece
- Finland
(six places remain now and I can feel my heart racing)
- Albania
- Slovenia
(our seventh finalist is)
- Australia
- Moldova
- Iceland
- Belgium

Congratulations!


RESULTS
'The yoda of the Eurovision Song Contest" (not my words) is introduced and Jan Ola informs that we have a valid result - or maybe he will, depending on if he can say so or not. If there is a valid vote, he will tell the two guys to "take it away".

"This is the moment of truth, the countries..." and that's where we currently end. The boys are just looking into the camera wondering what to do next.

Back, "the countries will be announced in random order".


GREENROOM
As a filler, Timur goes to the green room and interviews Australia, asking them why they are taking part. Volodymyr later also goes to the greenroom and interviews Manel from Spain. After the quick chat, we get the snippet of the song. The next artist to be interviewed is Lucie from the UK. Timur asks her how her experience of X-Factor has helped her for tonight. Volodymyr then moves on to Francesco Gabbani. It could be that they arm wrestle since "he's stronger than he looks!". The gorilla also gets a nod. We need to know more about the gorilla's movement.

Timur is then back informing us that that was three of the big five and Ukraine. If it weren't for him ...


JAMALA (AGAIN)
Jamala passionately performs another song (unfortunately we did not note the title) alone on stage. Dressed in what looks like a white poncho with multi-colored fringes.


VERKA SERDUCHKA
We start seeing views of Kyiv and a Ukrainian flag fluttering, the camera pans out and we see that it is being held by none other than Verka! Not to spoil it for you who are reading - you must watch this! It is actually quite funny! It's basically a clip of Verka and her mother, together with some other friends and family getting into comic situations in different parts of Kyiv and also a visit to Dolce & Gabbana.


VOTE WRAP UP
Apparently people from all over the world are voting! I thought it was only Europe and Australia but maybe they know something we don't! Only 60 seconds left. "All acts desperately want to be the new champion!" Who comes up with this? Oleksander and Volodymyr then start the countdown in Ukrainian from 10-6 and English from 5-Stop Voting Now! Again *eye roll*


INTERVIEW JAMALA
It's a bit confusing which microphone to use since apparently the one Jamala is holding is for singing, not talking - or so Volodymyr thought. We're therefore not sure what questions will actually be asked - or if Jamala is actually interested in answering them.

Another reminder of the artists which have performed tonight.


JAMALA
Oleksander and Volodymyr are on stage and they remind us of last year when Jamala won. She will be with us tonight with a special version of her song. Before that however, we see a montage of the voting and the 12 points to Ukraine.

9 dancers surround Jamala who is centre stage. From her nine roots are projected, each reaching a dancer. String instruments feature more heavily in this version of the winning song. Jamala does not move from the centre of the stage. No tree bursting out of her this time.


VOTING GUIDELINE
Let us just say that French does not seem to have been Volodymyr's best subject at school. Once we get the usual spiel of how to vote, and something which should resemble French, we go to the first recap of the 18 competing songs.


ITALY
Henrik is requesting some cleaners on stage. We do not know what happened and probably don't want to ask.

It seems we have a few minutes before we can continue so since apparently Jan Ola Sand has many jokes, we go to him. He's not ready yet but he'll have some for later. We're nearly done with this delay, and Henrik is asking the audience to help with the dance.

Performance: Francesco is delivering it today. With his cheeky smile he's making sure the people at home will want to jump up and dance with him. There are many shots where the audience is involved, and since it will be the fan zone you know there will be plenty of volunteers to be seen on tv. Although it was practically a given before we even stepped a foot in Kyiv, the more we go on, the less likely it is that anyone can take the trophy away from him.


UNITED KINGDOM
Since we've already seen the (Italian) postcard we can go straight to the song. However we would if we could. The United Kingdom's shell is not possible to get set up in 40 seconds, which means that the UK will have to come after a break.

This is taking a very long time so Henrik is informing that as in Stockholm, these will be 1 minute snippets of the Jury Final rehearsal. Timur is now taking over since we have "tecnical issues". He has "many questions in this emergency card". The poor guy doesn't really know what to do - it's a very long break. He therefore goes back to Alex who wants to thank his mum, but Timur says he should also thank his "daddy". Well now!

Performance: Visually this is working extremely well - could it be that the UK appear to have actually understood how to stage a Eurovision performance? Surely not! Lucie does not appear to only be the 26 year-old she is. She may be saving herslef slightly vocally in order to be able to belt out later on in the jury final however by no means failing to deliver. The only comment we could make would be that the tattoo on her right arm should be covered up but since it hasn't been yet all week, it is unlikely to be later on.


SPAIN
Spain's postcard isn't ready so they're showing Italy's postcard now. In fact, all postcards from now on are going to be Italy. It's Francesco being in a postcard with all different Francesco's (as a waiter, as a chef, as a dining guest). The fun and playfull character that he is exudes here. What Manel's postcard will be will be anyone's guess. Apparently for tonight's jury rehearsal they'll just show Italy's postcard for all countries.

Don't be fooled, this is still as wrong as it always was, we're just getting used to it more. If this was the first time we'd be seeing it the comments might be a bit different. The group still seems like they should be a supporting band rather than actually in the competition but it is what it is. Manel pokes out his tongue to the audience during the chorus. Not sure we wanted to see that.


LATVIA
Latvia's postcard is a mixture of some of the members doing rope skipping, make-up powder tasting and roof-top sightseeing.

Agnese seems to be taken by surprise that the camera is on her. I'm sure she's done this before but oh-kay. Vocally we've had better and the backing is taking over. The group are using as much of the stage as is left due to all the props but there is possibly a bit too much going on on stage. Sometimes less is more.


SLOVENIA
Omar wants to seduce you with sunglasses. He's visiting the Sports Palace where he took part in 2005 and relives some of his memories there. He then finds a cafe to have well earned drink. Hope it's not spiked. He'll need all of his wits after Armenia.

And it's already nearly over! Omar said that his experience might help him over some of the younger competitors since he has learnt things over his career such as flirting with the camera's etc. He clearly can sing and the staging complements him very well. There are some shots which could have been better reviewed but again, we need to see them with a full audience. At the end of the day, he is confident and knows what he wants - it's just a question of if the people at home want the same thing.


ARMENIA
Artsvik is in an air balloon. Not a warning for hot air though. Nice vistas of Armenia in the background.

Still sticking to the claim that this song could have done so much better with more dancers. The mystical emotion from the music video is missing from the stage performance. Vocally you can't fault her but the backing dancers are (or she is) not always in correct place so some visuals are a bit of a miss. The ending also has had a change to it. No longer is the digital eagle coming from Artsvik herself but the screen goes black and the eagle from the darkness. Not sure we approve of the change. It will still qualify however.


CYPRUS
Hovig has his head down, but then looks straight into the camera. We see him hanging in the park with his bros but also practicing hard on the dance moves. He's having fun while doing it.

This started off as being quite cheesy and bad but over the past week Hovig must have really practices his choreography and it is now looking quite good on tv. He is also singing quite well, another case of 'bringing it when it counts' and answering his critics from the first rehearsals. Also, coming after the Czech Republic is not hurting his chances. Closing the song the backdrop no longer sees a digital Hovig in mid-air, again, very good move since it did not work. With this new package, it is a likely qualifier.


CZECH REPUBLIC
Martina decided to drive to Czech TV's studio and discuss her participation with the delegation team. They then sit outside drinking juice and celebrating their inevitable win in Kyiv. Martina practices a bit in the studio, but you know she's already won... or so the postcard says.

Well, we forgot about this. Lindita has some competition for Barbara Dex. Fierce competition. This unfortunately just does not work. The colours are just no, the golden jump-suit, the half-naked people in the backdrop ... vocally Martina is reasonable enough but unfortunately we cannot see how this can turn up enough votes to see the final.


BREAK
Oleksander and Volodymyr once again flog the app. They both appear to know the inside of a gym and in this rehearsal they're only wearing tight fitting t-shirts. Very pleasing to the eye.

Break-bumper again. And Timur has nestled with fake Finland-artist (aka volunteers).

Timur is doing some emogic (emoji + magic, get it?). It goes all downhill from here as the rehearsal grinds to a halt. Some tech guy jumps into frame to hand something. Oh. They're re-doing it now. The mic seemed dead. that's been fixed now. The bit doesn't go down any better second time round. *sigh*

Luckily he now doesn't dwell and moves on to Moldova's booth. More of the knowledge tidbits. This time a relevant one - they refer to Sergej's YouTube meme-fame as the epic sax guy. And now it's Martina Bárta's turn.


ICELAND
Svala is siting on hexagonal mirrors. She didn't break any though. So she can go home and sip some coffee and sing a bit in her home studio.

Although looking like some character from a superhero comic (we're not sure which side of good she'd be on however) Svala is on point with her vocals today. Hopefully the same will be true tonight when the juries will be viewing. She does look quite lonely on stage though but add a large dancing audience and it should be fine. There are a number of wide shots and she's playing around with that cape like I used to when I was dancing around my room also pretending I was on the Eurovision stage. Good times. After a couple of years out, could this see the return of Iceland to the final?


MOLDOVA
The guys are out for a quick walk and then they go and select vinyl records. They end in a restaurant and clink their wine glasses. Then they're in Kyiv, performing for the gathered crowd.

The question we're all asking ourselves, are all three skirts going to work. We know the guys have been solid throughout the rehearsal week and their confidence is showing. They feel at ease on stage. Solid. And YES! All three skirts worked. And also the choreography is getting much better, the team must have been practicing a lot during their time here. A good reaction from us and Europe (and Australia) will likely agree.

POLAND
The Polish postcard shows the Kasia with the dogs. She's the one who let them out!!! After she decided she doesn't need them back, she goes to listen to a rehearsal of a classical concert.

The violinist behind Kasia is a bit more visible than before and there are more shots of him too. Kasia is still trying to escape from her dress but the pressure must be doing something for her since she is belting this out well - or it could just be the post-Demy effect. Kasia was in the right place again when the doves fly out from each side of her. A good reception is heard.

GREECE
Demy is in her hotel room, sipping a coffee. Next she's walking in a park as she spots some dancy guys she quite fancies. But she's not deciding yet. She first wants to explore the Greek country side a bit.  But yeah, in the TL-lamp hallway she's brought them along.

Demy still looks like a dear in headlights when the song starts. At the beginning of the first chorus the vocals go quite wrong. She tries to recover but the damage has been done. There is a very wide shot when Demy gets off the podium which works fine but then the waterfall projection Demy is very close up - a bit too close, you can practically see her womanhood! No one needs to be seeing that on a family tv show! Messy end to the song and not a great response.


BREAK
Oleksandr and Volodymyr are seeing that the social media is being whipped into frenzy. They're now reading fake tweets. Not telling you lot what they are, but they do remind the viewers of the hashtags are.


PORTUGAL
Smattering from the press centre as Salvador seems to have managed to get a postcard produced. We see him in Lissabon. Smiling a lot, but also singing and riding the tram. First performance for him on stage.

And the first time we actually see Salvador and not his sister Luísa singing. He's dressed in a black suit with black shirt and red handkerchief in left pocket. He's also wearing his accreditation but that is likely to be taken off during the show - unless we have another 2016 Moldovan dancer moment. The vocals are decent enough however they probably would have been better if he had been doing the rehearsals since in some areas they are not the best. However this simple song gains a huge reception here and it is likely to have the same in Europe.


AZERBAIJAN
Dihaj gets some cheers from the press center. She's out in the streets, but then visiting her favourite spots: Where she likes to rehearse, where she likes to hang out with her friends, where she likes to get tattooed. We also get to meet her kid (?).

Diana has her covered in a black tightened scarf which is the first time we've seen this. She is trying to be softer on the fake walls while she's banging them however it makes her looks uncertain of her strength when the song demands her to be confident in herself. Once again, amusement at the 'horse-man' having a fit on the ladder while "thorns" is being written on the wall. Azerbaijan always manages to pull stuff when needed however. The whole show is looking a lot better than what we've seen previously and again another good reaction from the gathered (fan)press.


FINLAND
Buildings seem to be sparse in Finland. The two have found some urbex site where we can see them promenading through the abandoned rooms. Oh, and of course a piano is being played.

Leena is pitch-perfect again. Even though we mainly know the show from back in UMK, it's simplicity and harmony is all it needs. It draws you in, making you want silence in the room in order to be able to appreciate it in its entirety. The camera shots being used have been clearly chosen and they bring much to the table. There is a huge applause by almost everyone present. It would be an injustice if this did not make it to Saturday.


BREAK
Oleksandr and Volodymyr are still trying to flog the Eurovision app, and its amaaaaazing features: Voting, downloading the songs and finding bios and lyrics. They just still have to mention the telephone number and you'd be forgiven to think that you've accidentally switched to a teleshopping channel. After the break bumper, Timur is quickly introducing some of the countries that already have performed. Georgia, Australia, Sweden and Albania. He tells a few politically correct facts about these.

Oleksandr and Volodymyr introduce Norma John, and thus the Finnish post card.


MONTENEGRO
Slavko is a theatre animal and shows off his spiritual home. But he's also excited as drawings of his Eurovision outfit are being made. Dancing, performing in the theatre. It's all part of who he is.

One thing you can't fault Slavko on, is his attention to the fans and his willingness to do any piece of PR he can. For his performance however, well, the beginning starts off harmless enough but there are too many elements which do not seem to make Eurovision sense. Yes we know the fans love it, however the juries will not look favorably on this entry and the regular Joe's at home will need a reason to vote for this. The vocals are not great and the spinning pony tail is still as distracting as ever. We will have to wait and see what happens with this entry.


BELGIUM
Blanche is wearing a lacy dress in the first shot. She's still a schoolgirl, so we get to see that. We also get to see that she has to juggle school with being an up and coming artist. So lots of press and gig-shots. She looks frightened in the live shot just before she's on.

Blanche is dressed in black, like her heart. The camera work is a bit shoddy, a lot of frontal shots and many many wide shots. Vocals are what we have got used to. She still doesn't look at the camera when she should. The robotic arm movements are still there but a wide camera angle helps mitigate the issue - slightly. This is however her best performance since we've been here. And there was an applause in the press centre to encourage it.


ALBANIA
Lindita shows us her fingered heart. Lots of cuts here: she's dancing performing, working out, enjoying the Albanian country side while jogging, fitting her dress, singing, playing violin... she's multi-faceted of course. Let's hope her performance is up to scratch.

Who is Lindita trying to fool with that white veil? The whole ensemble is debatable. Could this be a contender for Barbara Dex? Forgetting the attire, Lindita is singing well and the backing singers compliment her rather than overpower. The backdrop visuals may not be as appealing as some other entries' but this package seems to be getting slicker than we had seen it before - or it could be just the problem of having seen it multiple times that you just get used to it.

AUSTRALIA
Australia's Isaiah gets up - he overslept probably. And speeds in his car to his next gig. Everyone's already left (we never get to see the audience at the gig place) but they decide to shoot him performing anyway. He reaches out to us before he too appears in the now familiar TL-lamp hallway.

For the first time since we've been here, Australia has actually followed Georgia on stage. A more-confident Isaiah is trying his best but there is something missing still. It's a decent enough package with the singer connecting with the camera and vocally pretty decent but the visuals are slightly distracting - especially the one commented before when Isaiah gets swallowed by his own eye-ball. Luke-warm reception in the press centre, cheering mainly heard by the Aussie fanpress.


GEORGIA
Georgia's postcard then. Tako Gachechiladze wants us to know she's very much into transparent fabrics. It's all about make-up and fashion with her. But also about her as a singer/performer. So we see her in the studio. The TL-lamp laden hallway is the recurring theme for ALL the participants it seems.

A big pause before the song however - who wasn't ready for this? The fog is now on stage and we start closing in on Tako. Her hair still seems to be a bit of a mess, maybe she's half-way through getting it ready for tonight when it actually counts. Her vocals however are here and present. Girl can sing. Visually, like many others, this needs a large audience to be present to make it more appealing but but grand dramatic show is already enough to get most of the visual across. Another likely qualifier.


SWEDEN
Robin is being shown as he prepares but also during his pass-times, being on a motorbike. Next he suits up and finally readies himself with his dancing cronies in a TL-laden hallway.

Robin is dressed in his favourite fitted suit while the backing dancers are again in their grey/black combo. Slight error on the lighting of the front two dancers when the treadmills work them however this was quickly rectified - but noticeable. That however seems to be the only mistake made. Robin is looking like he's enjoying his time and the dancers are on form. No real worries for this entry.


16:18
They thank Sweden in their best and almost cute Ukraidish. Next they acknowledge the fans.
They banter on for a bit. Timur is going to be the greenroom Cinderella. Since he's the Eurovision nerd. Or so it is claimed.

Next they give an overview of the countries taking part in this semi final. They also mention the Eurovision app and tell the viewers not to vote just yet.

After it is established that Kyiv indeed is ready, the first postcards roll.

16:17
An out of breath Monatik announces the hosts and now we get to see them (Oleksandr Skichko.
Volodymyr Ostapchuk and Timur Miroshnychenko) for the first time. They of course say 'Good Evening Ukraine and Europe' as well as the now more familiar 'Australia'. Planet Earth also gets a mention. Though it is morning over there. You can't claim that you haven't been informed. As a side note, we don't know which is which, and to try to explain who exactly of the three is doing what over a rolling blog is like trying to explain Australia taking part in Eurovision: A futile exercise.

16:14
It took a while for the repeat to start. In the beginning of the dance act a female dancer dressed in white has the spotlight on her and this goes on and off a couple of times before Monatik appears from behind her. The female dancers are all clad in white while the male ones are in black. In total we count five female dancers and three male. "Heads are spinning!" If you say so dear. It's not the worst opening act we've seen.

16:09
Repetition of the opening act and the hosts this time will actually come in.

16:06
Monatik : Spinning - The first dance of the event. Monatik Sergeyovich is the full name of the artist. There are a number of dancers on stage with him. He thanks Eurovision Song Contest 2017 and then introduces the presenters.

16:04
Young girl dressed in Ukrainian traditional garb falls into screen. More Ukrainian female beauties of different ages all dressed in traditional garb from different areas of Ukraine end up gracing us with their presence. They represent the diversity of Ukraine. Doesn't last very long however and we are soon in the arena.

16:04
Stand by everyone!

16:03
We're getting clearance from the track that they're slowly getting ready!

16:00
Henrik is explaining what is going to happen - he seems quite excited about it all. We're not 100% sure what he's going on about but from what we heard even though now there's only 7 (somethings) when there was 25 (somethings) he doesn't mind because he's still getting paid.

15:58
We are a couple of minutes late but that is fine, gives us more time. There are some postcards which aren't ready so we're going to have Italy instead "because they paid the most money" Henrik informs.

15:56
Jon Ola Sand is there.
Henrik warns us with the final countdown.

15:55
Platforms are being wheeled on and off the stage... The press center is a lot more busy than it has been for the past week. It's almost as if something is about to happen.

Day 5 - 2nd Run Through : MNE / FIN / AZE / PRT / GRE

GREECE

Well, clearly EBU have not heard of the ISO-3 system since it should be GRC not not GRE but oh well, let us not hope they all suffer an agonising death and burn in hell for the rest of eternity.

But now that we are on the subject of agonising death, that seems to be what is happening on stage. If these sounds were coming out of a beast of burden they would be put on the next truck going to the meat factory. We thought the issue on Monday was the early-morning start however clearly that is not the case at 14:42, unless Demy's been up to no good last night. No amount of good looking, semi-clad hunks of wet-dream meat will distract you from that screech. At the end of the song we see Demy clearly knowing this did not go well.

2nd run - Well, she's trying to not be so screechy, not fully succeeding but giving it a good try. The waterfall effect which was not really working in the beginning is kinda a bit better but you still see Demy walking off the platform which kin of defeats the point. Maybe they work on that a bit more. Let's see what happens in the third run.

3rd run - OK, well we're improving vocally even more, so if she can sing three times on the night it might not be too bad! Back to the Demy in waterfall visual, so they now have a very wide shot when she leaves the platform so even though you still see it, it is not terrible as before. The effect though is seen at an even wider shot which in the end means that you can't even see it. Obviously this is a rehearsal so there will be a discussion and the best camera view will be chosen but if this is chosen it means that they think it doesn't work on tv.

And after Greece, a break! Back in around half an hour.


PORTUGAL

Well, allegedly Portugal since it's still his sister who is singing. We know Salvador can sing and let's face it, it's not like he needs to do much and therefore a bit difficult to get it wrong, but really?! I still cannot understand what everyone is seeing in this. And thankfully I'm not alone (there's not many of us, but there are a few). Staging is ok, music is ok, vocally doesn't matter since she ain't going to be singing ... meh.

2nd run - No one is actually interested in the second run since Slavko's press conference is now going on and he seems to be doing a rendition of Beyoncé's "Run the World (Girls)" so people are flocking over there to have a gander.

3rd run - The best thing to come out of this is that is it over. Other valid opinions are available. Please look around before committing yourself to one.


AZERBAIJAN

Oh-Kay, what to say here. Well, there has been some improvement but there is still lots which is just wtf. As you already know, Diana starts in a 'box' (three-sided, we need to see her) which has chalk writing on each wall with words from the lyrics. Also in this box is the horse-head wearing suited man up a ladder (when would you have ever written such a thing if not at Eurovision!?) with whom she apparently hooks up and it's alchemy. We're all well and good up to this point, weird, but good. The problems for me start when the box is opened, the camera shows the backing singers having to do this manually which to me doesn't show me slick-act or any concept design, but rather - just 'meh'. I guess it's just me not being cultured however, it usually is.

Moving away from staging, vocally it does not compare to the studio version. Especially coming after Finland, it shows a different category in signing quality and unfortunately this comes out the loser. Still, the Land of Fire has always qualified and I'm not going to say this will be their year not to.

2nd run - Still have no clue why she is putting a white X on the backs of the backing singers. What is it supposed to mean? Let us know if you do! Henrik says we've got "a couple of quick remarks and then we start again in two minutes."

3rd run - I'm sure he's done it every single time (it's Azeri choreography, they don't like improv.) but I would suggest you look at the man up a ladder when DiHaj is writing on the wall. It is much more interesting. It seems like he's having a bit of a fit up there - much more entertaining that her writing "thorns". Rehearsal over for Azerbaijan, and next, a change of tempo - Portugal.


FINLAND

What a contrast! After the epic campness that is Montenegro's entry, this comes as a beautiful pallet cleanser. Leena sang beautifully - her rendition of the song just impeccable. The staging is very simple, as with their UMK performance, it beings in blue watery hues in the first half of the song and then turning to red for the latter half. Lasse strokes those keys with elegance and the camera loves them both. There is a very good chance this is being seen in the grand final.

2nd run (or maybe 3rd) - The dry ice is on stage and also coming out of the piano. The effect works amazingly well on camera especially when the song ends with the stage becoming a whirlpool which Leena is standing in. The 'fog' appears to be turning with it, although this is just a trick of the eye.

That was the last go for Norma John so either we were not shown one or only two were performed. We believe it is the former - as happened before, especially yesterday, it seems someone is forgetting to press the button to show us what is going on.


MONTENEGRO

Slavko is just loving it. Whip that pony tail gurhl! He's wearing what we saw in the first rehearsal - ie, the see-through top and beginning with the blue skirt which gets ripped off to reveal the sparkly-fronted black, leg (and butt) hugging bottoms. There seems to be less close-up shots than there was on the first round, and there is less of the awkward pony-tail holding however he still decides it's a lasso during one of the chorus' and tries to take off into space with it. Vocally not great but the show itself is a camp delight. All the female girls in the room were giggling and loving it and so was I! Can't wait for the next run through, I SO need this in my life. As do all of you! Make sure you don't dare go to the bathroom during this one. It will provide Eurovision shows those wtf clips for years to come!

2nd run - The skirt which was left on the floor before the middle eight in the first run has now been removed before the camera shot from above. Much better - but I think it was a mistake in the first run since I cannot see them having it wanting to have stayed there.

Bitch is on fire! Slavko's creating his own moves which might not be conventional but we've applauding. He seemed like he was trying to do a pirouette which didn't fully work but that could be due to his shoes, possibly, maybe. Whatever he is bringing, we are buying. Will Europe though?

3rd run - Another competent run, nothing major to report. Just wait for the clip on the official youtube channel - enjoy!


LUNCH

Yes, lunch has it's own section in my blogs. The sad thing about Eurovision is that you usually end up gaining at least 5kgs (11lbs for those of you who insist on being different to the common-sense world). And we're not talking muscle weight here, we're talking pure saturated fat. When you count the unhealthy food and the copious amounts of alcohol (especially when it costs so little to buy) there is no escaping the problem. Should you start noticing new members joining your gyms in mid- to end of May, you should approach them and ask them if they went for the two-week Eurovision experience. Something tells me I'm gonna be forking out for a PT in the next few weeks ... thank you Kyiv!

Day 1 - AZE-POR

Last two today!

PORTUGAL

Contrasts, it's all about the contrasts.

They are using the little satetllite stage amid the audience for the first time. Think Anouk in Malmö. Backdrop is the Dutch forest without the witches of Eastwick.

There is an inherent risk with having him standing in the middle of the audience that there could be a lot of distracting flags, but I think it will work and look really good seeing him amid a sea of people. Maybe they could drop some of the long shots - they could either add atmosphere and look amazing or be an awkward boisterous contrast to the soft song.

Have to say I'm glad it will be Salvador singing, not keen on Luisa's interpretation.

And that was it for the first day!  Now I'm off to find whatever it was the Azerbaijanis took.


AZERBAIJAN

So, they have a concept. Of some sort. What. The.

Words, there are no words.

Waiting for the second run-through. Maybe it was all a dream?

So. She starts surrounded by walls, or giant blackboards and she gets some chalk out at one point and starts scribbling like a possessed primary school teacher. Next to her there's a man up a ladder wearing a horse's head. Then the walls come down, the man up the ladder takes off his horse's head. The backing singers appear, do some moves. Dihaj looks angry. She gets the chalk out again and scribbles on the backing singers' backs and....I really don't know. Such a busy three minutes.

Semi 1 surprises - what did the bloggers miss?

I'm not in Stockholm this year, so, like you, I'm relying on rehearsal videos and the descriptions of bloggers watching rehearsals in the press centre to get an impression of what's going to do well. And as you'll have seen, I only got seven qualifiers right out of ten last night. So what went wrong? Who can I blame other than myself?

Croatia
A key example of an artist turning it on for the night. Where did all Nina Kraljić's personality come from? She found cameras, she smiled, she was warm - it was almost enough to make you forget the dress! And she sang really well! An obvious qualifier seeing it on TV last night.

Photo credit: Andres Putting (EBU)

Netherlands
That silence. We were told by several bloggers that the Netherlands had put in a short silence in order to encourage a crowd singalong. That never happens, and it seems it was never the intention. Perhaps an example of the groupthink that can sometimes afflict a hermertically sealed-in press centre, and something I've certainly been guilty of in the past.

I was expecting Netherlands to be great, based on reports, and found it only okay. Throughout, Douwe Bob seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open, and I didn't feel a real connection from him. And I suspect the silence was meant to lend authenticity - in a 'real' country gig, it wouldn't be uncommon to have a period of quiet like that, to bring up a swell of noise and applause from the audience, which would grow and grow to make a massive reaction. The gap in 'Slow Down' was too short for that to work, but just long enough to be awkward.

Russia
Nowhere near as impressive as we'd been led to believe, I felt. The first minute to so is underwhelming, you can see the shadows of both Sergey and his dancers separate from the projections, and then for the second verse and chorus, we lose Sergey's face; as the camera zooms out to show the impressiveness of the technology, we get no close-ups of what is a very warm and charismatic performer. Why get someone in like Sergey, with that beautiful face, and fail to show it? The last 20 seconds, where he could stand on the top, be natural, stop concentrating on stepping and show his face, were easily the best of the whole song.

Azerbaijan
It seems everyone in the press centre focused on Samra's bad vocals to the omission of everything else, including how the Azeris had come up with some of the best uses of the screens of any act. 'Miracle' didn't sound great (though nowhere near as bad as we might have expected), but it looked fantastic!

Iceland
Okay, I have no bones to pick with the bloggers about this. It looked great, it sounded great - the projections looked much more impressive than for Russia, Greta Salome showed personality - I thought this was a nailed on qualifier and potential Top 5 contender. But then Måns said the word 'Malta' instead :(

The borderliners - My Semi 1 Prediction

I have to admit, I'm finding Semi 1 one of the hardest semis to predict in a number of years, and that's for the simple reason that there are so many songs that, for me, are right on the borderline of qualifying. To put my thoughts in order, I thought I'd write about them.

For me, there are six songs that are definitely through in Semi 1, and four that are definitely out. That leaves seven in the borderline between 8th place and 14th place - so three of them have to qualify. Those seven songs are Greece, Hungary, Croatia, Azerbaijan, Austria, Estonia and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and for me, they fall into three pairs (plus Greece). So let's take them in their pairs.

Battle 1: Azerbaijan vs Austria
The two young girls who haven't impressed vocally in rehearsals. I've always really liked Austria, and have tended to be quite firm in my belief that it's a good song, and that will be enough to carry it through. However, with a lot of competition in this semi-final, and so many things working against it (the language, Zoe's vocals, the cute-and-likeable vs annoying-and-precocious debate), I now think it stays in the semi. Azerbaijan, by contrast, has never impressed me as a song - I always found it quite ordinary, and I think the staging is also quite underwhelming. But they have more friends, and what's possibly quite a generically appealing song.

Battle 2: Hungary vs Estonia
Two boys singing darker songs. Hungary have been quite well-thought of since 'Pioneer' was chosen, both in predictions and betting odds, but I've never seen it. I always found the performance from A Dal quite uninteresting, and it doesn't sound like Freddie's done much to change that in Stockholm. It'll all depend on if Europe sees something more than I do. On the other side of the battle, Estonia have changed their performance for the international final, and reports suggest it might be over-complicating things now. I do think Hungary is slightly more accessible as a song, but Juri might have enough appeal - and who knows what juries will make of it?

Battle 3: Croatia vs Bosnia-Herzegovina
The Balkan nations - is there room for both of them in the final? Croatia have tumbled down the rankings over the past couple of months, and even more so after seeing the planned stage performance. I always had Bosnia-Herzegovina down as a non-qualifier - just too Balkan as a song, and potentially not a very vote-friendly look (that's me trying to find a kind way of saying that Deen looks weird). But as Bosnia always do, they've come with a strong (if slightly odd) performance in rehearsals, and may surprise us once again. I told myself I'd never bet against Bosnia qualifying after 2010 - perhaps I should take that advice tonight.

And then there's Greece. As a song, it should be doomed - but on the other hand, the last time they entered a combination of rap and singing in a mix of languages, which we'd all assumed was hopeless when it was selected, it went and won the semi. I'm always wary of counting Greece out.

So, I have to make a choice... here goes:

The qualifiers:

1. Russia
2. Iceland
3. Netherlands
4. Armenia
5. Malta
6. Czech Republic
7. Cyprus
8. Hungary
9. Bosnia-Herzegovina
10. Estonia

And missing out:

11. Azerbaijan
12. Croatia
13. Greece
14. Austria
15. Montenegro
16. San Marino
17. Finland
18. Moldova