Thursday, 4 May 2017

Day 5 - 2nd Run Through : MNE / FIN / AZE / PRT / GRE


Well, clearly EBU have not heard of the ISO-3 system since it should be GRC not not GRE but oh well, let us not hope they all suffer an agonising death and burn in hell for the rest of eternity.

But now that we are on the subject of agonising death, that seems to be what is happening on stage. If these sounds were coming out of a beast of burden they would be put on the next truck going to the meat factory. We thought the issue on Monday was the early-morning start however clearly that is not the case at 14:42, unless Demy's been up to no good last night. No amount of good looking, semi-clad hunks of wet-dream meat will distract you from that screech. At the end of the song we see Demy clearly knowing this did not go well.

2nd run - Well, she's trying to not be so screechy, not fully succeeding but giving it a good try. The waterfall effect which was not really working in the beginning is kinda a bit better but you still see Demy walking off the platform which kin of defeats the point. Maybe they work on that a bit more. Let's see what happens in the third run.

3rd run - OK, well we're improving vocally even more, so if she can sing three times on the night it might not be too bad! Back to the Demy in waterfall visual, so they now have a very wide shot when she leaves the platform so even though you still see it, it is not terrible as before. The effect though is seen at an even wider shot which in the end means that you can't even see it. Obviously this is a rehearsal so there will be a discussion and the best camera view will be chosen but if this is chosen it means that they think it doesn't work on tv.

And after Greece, a break! Back in around half an hour.


Well, allegedly Portugal since it's still his sister who is singing. We know Salvador can sing and let's face it, it's not like he needs to do much and therefore a bit difficult to get it wrong, but really?! I still cannot understand what everyone is seeing in this. And thankfully I'm not alone (there's not many of us, but there are a few). Staging is ok, music is ok, vocally doesn't matter since she ain't going to be singing ... meh.

2nd run - No one is actually interested in the second run since Slavko's press conference is now going on and he seems to be doing a rendition of BeyoncĂ©'s "Run the World (Girls)" so people are flocking over there to have a gander.

3rd run - The best thing to come out of this is that is it over. Other valid opinions are available. Please look around before committing yourself to one.


Oh-Kay, what to say here. Well, there has been some improvement but there is still lots which is just wtf. As you already know, Diana starts in a 'box' (three-sided, we need to see her) which has chalk writing on each wall with words from the lyrics. Also in this box is the horse-head wearing suited man up a ladder (when would you have ever written such a thing if not at Eurovision!?) with whom she apparently hooks up and it's alchemy. We're all well and good up to this point, weird, but good. The problems for me start when the box is opened, the camera shows the backing singers having to do this manually which to me doesn't show me slick-act or any concept design, but rather - just 'meh'. I guess it's just me not being cultured however, it usually is.

Moving away from staging, vocally it does not compare to the studio version. Especially coming after Finland, it shows a different category in signing quality and unfortunately this comes out the loser. Still, the Land of Fire has always qualified and I'm not going to say this will be their year not to.

2nd run - Still have no clue why she is putting a white X on the backs of the backing singers. What is it supposed to mean? Let us know if you do! Henrik says we've got "a couple of quick remarks and then we start again in two minutes."

3rd run - I'm sure he's done it every single time (it's Azeri choreography, they don't like improv.) but I would suggest you look at the man up a ladder when DiHaj is writing on the wall. It is much more interesting. It seems like he's having a bit of a fit up there - much more entertaining that her writing "thorns". Rehearsal over for Azerbaijan, and next, a change of tempo - Portugal.


What a contrast! After the epic campness that is Montenegro's entry, this comes as a beautiful pallet cleanser. Leena sang beautifully - her rendition of the song just impeccable. The staging is very simple, as with their UMK performance, it beings in blue watery hues in the first half of the song and then turning to red for the latter half. Lasse strokes those keys with elegance and the camera loves them both. There is a very good chance this is being seen in the grand final.

2nd run (or maybe 3rd) - The dry ice is on stage and also coming out of the piano. The effect works amazingly well on camera especially when the song ends with the stage becoming a whirlpool which Leena is standing in. The 'fog' appears to be turning with it, although this is just a trick of the eye.

That was the last go for Norma John so either we were not shown one or only two were performed. We believe it is the former - as happened before, especially yesterday, it seems someone is forgetting to press the button to show us what is going on.


Slavko is just loving it. Whip that pony tail gurhl! He's wearing what we saw in the first rehearsal - ie, the see-through top and beginning with the blue skirt which gets ripped off to reveal the sparkly-fronted black, leg (and butt) hugging bottoms. There seems to be less close-up shots than there was on the first round, and there is less of the awkward pony-tail holding however he still decides it's a lasso during one of the chorus' and tries to take off into space with it. Vocally not great but the show itself is a camp delight. All the female girls in the room were giggling and loving it and so was I! Can't wait for the next run through, I SO need this in my life. As do all of you! Make sure you don't dare go to the bathroom during this one. It will provide Eurovision shows those wtf clips for years to come!

2nd run - The skirt which was left on the floor before the middle eight in the first run has now been removed before the camera shot from above. Much better - but I think it was a mistake in the first run since I cannot see them having it wanting to have stayed there.

Bitch is on fire! Slavko's creating his own moves which might not be conventional but we've applauding. He seemed like he was trying to do a pirouette which didn't fully work but that could be due to his shoes, possibly, maybe. Whatever he is bringing, we are buying. Will Europe though?

3rd run - Another competent run, nothing major to report. Just wait for the clip on the official youtube channel - enjoy!


Yes, lunch has it's own section in my blogs. The sad thing about Eurovision is that you usually end up gaining at least 5kgs (11lbs for those of you who insist on being different to the common-sense world). And we're not talking muscle weight here, we're talking pure saturated fat. When you count the unhealthy food and the copious amounts of alcohol (especially when it costs so little to buy) there is no escaping the problem. Should you start noticing new members joining your gyms in mid- to end of May, you should approach them and ask them if they went for the two-week Eurovision experience. Something tells me I'm gonna be forking out for a PT in the next few weeks ... thank you Kyiv!

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