I'm of course talking about the first dress rehearsal for the Grand Final which I observed from the Wiener Stadthalle this afternoon. No live blog, apologies, but the gist of it is: it was endless. ORF was testing your blogger's limits thoroughly.
Here's hoping that tonight's second run-through in a full arena will run smoother!
In preparation for this evening, I enjoyed a reception of ZOOP, a very new, very shady and already very controversial new social media platform created by the people who made OnlyFans which is somehow an official partner of this year's Eurovision.
Lots of critical questions to be asked later. But for now, we're all tired poor reporters here so we take free drinks and food, such as this Austrian charcuterie board conveyor belt. Because why not?
As I did on Wednesday, I will be blogging away in real-time for your entertainment to tell you what's happening when and which parts you can skip.
You've seen all performances, so I won't be describing them all in detail. Rather, I will focus on the general flow and a rough prediction of its chances.
21:00 Eröffnungszeremonie
We start with revisiting JJ's victory. He appears to forget his paper boat in Basel. It gets to lead its own life and spends the year in various different ownership structures before, of course, somehow through a myriad of wanderings making its way to the Wiener Stadthalle. It's really quite lovely.
From this we are treated to a concert of the ORF radio symphony orchestra, playing from the greenroom. It's all very bombastic and very Austrian but it looks really cool. Then we go to JJ on the main stage performing a snippet of the Queen of the Night aria.
Five minutes in and the flag parade commences. Giant red curtains are hanging on the sides of the stage.
After the first batch of ten countries, we're treated to JJ performing a remix of Wasted Love with a bunch of dancers and acrobats.
He does the entire song in the middle of the flag parade. Then the other fifteen countries are presented. We then return to JJ, who finishes Wasted Love on an elevated back side of the stage.
Clearly the money they saved on the second semi-final is being spent here.
Twelve minutes in and we are unfortunately welcomed again by our two hosts - or three, as barista/greenroom host Emily also returns. You'll be delighted to hear that Michael wears yet another iteration of the same circus director outfit, this time in purple. It's giving Hugo of Nicole fame.
More French-language banter or attempts thereof followed by regular voting information - like in previous years, voting opens in the beginning of the show. The lines are open by a watch party in Zaandam, the Netherlands. What a coincidence.
Seventeen minutes in and the hosts... start playing a game. They will weave title of winning Eurovision songs in their natural dialogue and give each other points for doing so. Before you ask, yes, they will keep this up all night. Yes, this includes an on-screen scoreboard. They're serious.
21:19 Dänemark
A rather peculiar choice for an opener if they want to go for the family-friendly vibe perhaps. That aside, the song's build is solid enough to get you pulled in the show. The vocals are good but he appears a bit out of breath and misses that big note again by an inch.
I like it as an opener, but also think it kills any competitive chances it may have.
As an aside, it is now made clear why we are treated to around ten seconds of the artists after their performance is finished; the phone numbers are displayed. Also during parts of the postcards. Anything for upping that much-needed revenue!
21:23 Deutschland
Obvious #2 is obvious. This should be a safe bet for a bottom three placing tomorrow night. It has no redeeming features whatsoever. In a few years from now I'll hear this again randomly, not having any memory of its existence.
21:27 Israel
Phil's excellent OnEurope blog will tell you all you need to know about this.
21:32 Belgien
I had this as a definite NQ on Tuesday and now I think this was solid. Must be Vienna Syndrome. Or Brussels Syndrome. ESSYLA is far more relaxed and enjoying herself on stage, which shows. This will be nowhere near victory in any way, but it's nothing to be ashamed about. (Yes, the Belgian bar is low.)
21:37 Albanien
The stage isn't ready yet for Alis so we're treated so random audience shots for half a minute or so.
I still think the subtitles work against this - it takes away the intimacy the performance wants to create. This is also way too much for me to take in, though Alis is undoubtedly a very good artist and the staging is gorgeous, if a bit much perhaps.
21:42 Griechenland
The stage isn't ready yet for Akylas so we're treated to Emily interviewing the Austrian fan who said on Tuesday Eurovision helped him with his coming out.
A much-needed energy boost, solid position in the running order for this. I still think this is one of the best crafted performances of the year, particularly the second half. It's made for TikTok and I think that's wonderful.
If Klavdia could end up 6th last year, Akylas should do at least as good. Yes, I said that.
21:46 Ukraine
Also well positioned in the running order. Having two power ballads back to back might be weird (looking at you, semi 2 draw), but at least there's a proper break in between here. Ukraine works very well here. This could end up top ten. Also bottom five. I don't know. Sorry for not being more insightful.
21:50 Pause
Professor Eurovision time! Today's question: What is the most successful Eurovision song ever? The answer is multi-layered and discussed from various angles (points, streams, record sales). This will be far too controversial for BBC to air.
21:54 Australien
ACPPS!! This could easily get 250 jury points and 25 televote points. But that moment where she is raised on the platform from within the piano and the pyro is *chef's kiss* Eurovision canon. I really really want this to win tomorrow, but I fully know and acknowledge that it won't. And that's okay.
21:58 Serbien
This final is one of the most difficult ones to predict in years and this one may be one of the toughest of them all. I'm inclined to think its overall appeal will be limited and this will end around 20th or so. But then it crawling up to 6th place also wouldn't surprise me. But what do I know? I want that final hurl as my ringtone. (I'm old and remember ringtones.)
We get a short host break as the Maltese staging is prepared. They're foreshadowing the endless string of interval acts coming up later. Note how we're over one hour in the show and only had nine songs thus far.
22:04 Malta
I think this is very good but appear to be in a minority. I also have no clue where this will end up. But the billboards all over Europe might help a bit. This could be a solid mid-table result waiting to happen.
22:08 Tschechien
Gorgeous. And so is the staging. I mainly love the fact that this qualified on its own merit entirely, which fills me with a bright glimmer of hope in dark Eurovision times. I hope the juries shower this with points tomorrow night. Daniel will need all their support he can get, I fear.
22:12 Bulgarien
I quite liked this song before Eurovision, considering it as something fun and catchy. But this performance elevates it so much. DARA is one of tonight's best artists and I hope she'll be rewarded handsomely for the effort. This deserves to do *very* well and I don't think victory is entirely out of the question. Fun fact: you think the chairs move around? They don't. It's the walls, pushed around by a string of stage hands. *Huge* cheer in the media centre.
22:16 Kroatien
Excellent vocals, might be their best I've heard them so far. Everything about this sounds and looks amazing. I also want this to do really well but fear it might be a bit too much also for the casual viewer of a light entertainment show on a Saturday night?
At this point, I'm convinced the jury vote will be extremely split this year as they are spoilt for choice, and the audience favourite will win almost by default.
22:20 Vereinigtes Königreich
During this afternoon's dress rehearsal, LMNC was not wearing his stage outfit and hardly sang anything. Interesting how he got away with that - but anyway, now we get the full monty. I think this has good parts and I want to like the approach. But it overstays its welcome for at least a minute and honestly, I'm just exhausted. Another nil points waiting to happen, I fear.
22:25 Frankreich
She's seventeen. Seven. Teen. Incredible.
If this doesn't come top three in the jury vote, I'll eat my Ferto beanie.
22:29 Pause
Break time. More winning entry competition jokes. Right after the French entry (performed by a 17-year old), we see the French winning JESC entry from last year (performed by a 12-year old).
The hosts then joke hosting Eurovision Asia this year and the silence in the arena is deafening. We are then introduced to a video promoting Eurovision Asia in Bangkok. They're serious about this.
22:33 Moldau
Slight technical hiccup displaying a test screen before the Moldavian postcard.
This is very well-positioned, right after a break and very much intended to bring the audience to life again. Also, this needs prep time on stage. A burst of uplifting politically-motivated energy.
At this point, I'm convinced the jury and public vote will differ enormously this year. I can see this doing a KEiiNO (aka winning the televote but barely doing anything with the juries).
22:37 Finnland
In all honesty: I'm getting tired of this. I never saw this as a winner and am still not convinced. Which means it likely will win.
But Pete sounds tired and really has to try very hard to reach the notes tonight, although he improves as the song goes along. Excellently positioned to keep momentum going in the second half of the show though. I think this has 4th place written all over it, but what do I know?
Short host break as the Finnish prop is removed. I already forgot what they were talking about.
22:43 Polen
I can see an Alika-esque result for this in the cards, despite not thinking it could actually make the final top 10. It does have 11th place vibes for me. Alicja looks and sounds amazing as before though. No sign of strain whatsoever.
22:47 Litauen
I don't understand what this is doing here, but I'm so glad it is nevertheless. Vocally Lion is a bit off in the second half of the performance. I don't expect this to get televote points beyond the Baltics and the UK.
22:52 Schweden
Felicia had reportedly lost her voice. I can now retrieve that she has retrieved it, albeit only partially. She's *very* off vocally unfortunately, notably in the first half of the performance. This is a shame as at least visually this is a highlight of the evening. Just a shame they forgot to write a song. It also works very well as the first proper uptempo song in quite a while.
22:56 Zypern
This is such a slick performance visually, but Antigoni, or as a TikToker called her, Antivocali, is getting hoarse and risks having no voice by tomorrow night. But in all honesty: I've heard her "sing" much worse the past few days. She also didn't fumble her own lyrics, which were so complicated that they needed to be co-written by *six* people.
This will get (close to) nothing from the jury and some dodgy high televote scores, enough for a lower mid-table result.
23:00 Italien
I don't mind straights getting married, but does it have to be advertised this much in what is supposedly a "family-friendly" show? How am I to explain this to children watching this at 11 PM?
Jokes aside, European mommy's and daddy's alike will eat this and vote en masse. Not competitive enough to snatch a victory, but this should be up there in the ranking. It's just *so* much fun to watch.
07:XX Pause
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08:XX Norwegen
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08:XX Rumänien
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09:XX Österreich
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